Confessions On How To Be A Darling Silly Girl
R.I.P. *dearest* Farrah

I changed my font at

I Love These Things!!!
Sunday, September 30, 2007

whats your name?Heather Nicole
what do people call you?Schmiddy, de shmidmeister, Roo, Skinny Roo
where you named after anything?Heather Lockleare
if you were born the oppisite sex what would your name be?according to my mom, Sebastian Bach
do people spell/say your name wrong?all the time dang it!
if you could change your name what would you change it to?I'm pretty happy with the name I have now-people like it!
birthday?April 8th, 1989
age you act?it varies
age you want to be?9999
eye color?grayish blue
happy with it?yes I am, thank you very much
natural hair color?really, really, really blonde!
happy with it? if not do you dye it?I've dyed my hair once. It was supposed to have been dark brown, but it looked black against my pale skin.
righty or lefty?righty tighty
love and stuff
single?and happy :)
who are you with, or who do you want to be with?I want to be with someone who's sweet and funny
are you in love?with my momma
have you ever been in love, if so how many times?twice-it was alot like love
do you believe in love at first sight?nope-you really have to know the person first. Love at first sight is actually lust in disguise.
is it possible to be faithful to one person for ever?yep
do you want to get married?nope-too much of an obligation
do you want to have kids?hmmm....I wanna adopt
how many?well, it would be cool to have a "brady bunch"!
do you believe in divorce?yep-if they aren't who you fell in love with at the beginning, get rid of them! Geez!
do you belive in true love?ehhh...yeahhh, but love hurts
do you consider love a mistake?refer to last question please!
turn-ons?humor, beautiful eyes, great taste in music, honesty, the list goes on
turns-offs?there are so many! The major one, though is when a guy tries to act all macho. i can't stand it when a guy tries to hard
do you think the oppisite sex finds you attractive?I guess so
what is best about the opposite sex?how gullible they are ;)
what is worst about the oppisite sex?they all seem so sexist and cocky
are you a virgin?yep
do you belive you should be in love to have sex?yep
how far have you gone?well, I haven't hit a homerun!
how many people have you had sex with?zero, zip, nada
do other people consider you a slut?I can't see why they would!
right at this moment...
where are you?in my own little world
what can you see out your window?the house across the street. Oh, and our grass needs mowed
are you listening to music?yep-"Gravity" by the Dresden Dolls
are you lonely or tired?neither
use 5 words to decribe how you are feeling:I am feeling quite happy! :)
are you talking to anyone online? if so who?nope
are you talking to anyone of the phone? if so who?nope
what are you wearing?PJs!
what are you doing?this survey!
whats on your mousepad?my mouse!
how many true friends do you have?maybe two or three
are you a loner?sometimes
who is your best friend?Jesus!
newest?Heather C.
who is the best listener?Hannah
do you prefer to hang out with one friend or a group of friends?depends
who do you wish you were closer to?Lynnette
who knows the most about you?Hannah
who knows the least about you?people whom I've only recently started hanging out with
who do you trust the most?Hannah
the least?
who do you fight with the most?Heather R.
who do you talk to online the most?Hannah
who do you talk to on the phone the most?I hardly ever use the phone!
do you trust others easily?kinda sorta but, hurt me once your fault hurt me twice my fault
name one who's arms you feel safe in:Jesus!
who house were you at last?Brad's
who's your second family?my friends
who lives the farthest away?Lynette and Kayla
do you....
smoke?nope-there are cooler ways to die
drink alcohol?does wine count? how 'bout root beer?
do drugs?nope
go to church?nope
sleep with stuffed animals?sometimes
take walks in the rain?yep
dance in the rain?yep
do any sports? if so which ones?nope-I'm 'bout the laziest person ever!
sleep around?around the house. Hey! i get bored!
lie a lot?nope...wait I just lied!
have you ever....
kissed a stranger?nope
slept with a stranger?nope
spun until you were so dizzy you couldn't walk?yep
screamed so much you lost your voice?yep
laughed so much it was painful?yep
cried so much it was painful?yep
gone skinny dipping?nope
played strip poker?nope
had a medical emergency?yep
ran away from home?nope
done something extremely unexpected?yep
slept outside?yep
been onstage?yep
deep stuff....
whats your biggest fear?snakes
what was your weirdest dream?I was a ghost floating down our stairs. i could actually feel that butterfly feeling like when your on a rollercoaster!
scariest dream?when i was little I had this dream all the time where there was this alien trying to get me. the crazy thing was that it grew with me!
do you have a reoccuring dream?refer to last two Q's and I always have these dreams where everything around me turns into snakes!
what was your best dream?obviously it wasn't that great because I can't remember it!
what IS your dream?to be a model and actress
do you live in the moment?sometimes
what you greatest strength?I'm optimistic
whats your greatest weakness?i worry alot
do you have a motto you live by?hmmm...i love mottos! I guess I'll choose "bleeding hearts of the world unite!" since I get frustrated alot! Thank you Jim Carrey!
if your life were a movie what would it be called?She Who Has No Life
do you have any bad habits?oh gosh, tons!
do you have any secrets?yep
are you fake?i wouldn't say that, but I am a combination of a bunch of people, if you know what I mean.
what do you want to do in life?to achieve happiness
are you a daredevil?nope
are you predictable?sometimes
do you keep a journal/diary?I keep a blog
if you could change one thing about you would you? what would it be?I'd become fearless
if you were someone else, would you be friends with yourself?yep
do you think your a good person?ehhh...not always!
do you think your emotionally strong?nope
do you regret anything?alot of things...
do you think life has been good so far?it's been ok
what do you like most about you body?my eyes and legs
least?my feet-they're really skinny
are you trust worthy?yep
are you gullible?i only act that way sometimes-turns out I'm not the gullible one!

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10:19 AM
Ahhh!! Real Zombies!!!
Saturday, September 29, 2007 I'm turning in an application to a local video store. I'm just really hoping that I get the job! I mean, it's not like I don't need one-i'm pretty much sick and tired of being a bum. WHERE IS THE MERCY?! Anyway, it's gotta be totally rad working in a video store. I have visions of watching amazing new movies before anyone else even thinks of renting them...hands off! I'd be hounding all the movies in the back somewhere, while everyone is complaining and the place is losing business. Seems great...oh well, probably empty wishing. I might not even get the job. Anywho, I seen Resident Evil:Extinction the other night. Loved it. If you haven't seen it I don't want to give the movie away, but I've gotta warn you! Do not leave the theatre!!! It starts out exactly the same as the first one, but...lets just say that it changes into the amazing triquel that it really is. I just really do love zombies. Which makes me mad about something else. Senior shirts-one of my good friends designed an awesome senior t-shirt that had zombies and gravestones on it. It was trully something that I would wear, but it didn't get picked, just because it was too depressing or whatever. Cry babies. They're just mad because they didn't create it. Stupid losers had to pick the design with our mascot on it. How many shirts do we need with lions on them!!! How unoriginal. Ok, now I'm just not going to buy a senior shirt. Sucks ass!!! I want zombies-wah, wah, wah! Ok, I'm not actually crying, but I could be on the inside. :) It was really cool when my bro and I were younger, though. we would sometimes go outside and act like we were running away from zombies. Yep...good times. We'd get in our car and pretend that we were being pursued by flesh eating zombies, and we were having the time of our lives! Man, that sounds like fun right about now. Too bad I'm 18. But, noone else has to know that!!! Yeah man!!!

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10:35 AM
My Very First Thursday 13!
Friday, September 28, 2007

My mom has been doing Thursday 13 for a while now and it is all that she talks about. So i figured that the only way to shut her up was to do my own list of 13!

13 Philosophies That I Live By

1. Peace, Love, and Happiness ~~~~ Minus the drugs.

2. When all else fails, watch a good movie.

3. Laughter is the greatest medicine of all.

4. When words aren't loud enough, there is always music.

5. Color, do crazy dances, do anything that lets your inner child out.

6. True beauty is found only in nature.

7. Trust no one.

8. Always cherish good times.

9. Don't let anyone think that they are better than you.

10. Get inspired.

11. Prove those who doubt you ~ wrong!

12. It is all right to cry.

13. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

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2:35 AM
Wordless Wednesday
Wednesday, September 26, 2007


9:15 AM
Saturday, September 22, 2007

Sooo...I finally visited my future college and I loved it! It's easy to get from building to building, it's really pretty, and there were MANY hott guys. There was this one and I'm sure I drove my one friend crazy because I would not stop talking about him. He was sooo beautiful...anyway, i think i should definitely start applying for scholarships. See, there's this honor day thingy at the end of my school year just for seniors. It's where we seniors(well, everybody, but we're really the only ones that matter!)have to sit through two hours worth of awards and scholarships and recognition. For the past three years I've HATED it, but since it's my year I'm kind of excited. But anyway, i want to get tons of scholarships and crap. I don't want to end my senior year and just be recognized for what diploma I'm gonna receive. I want to have a grand finale, ya know? Anyway, I have a list of scholarships somewhere. Man, i need freakin' motivation. Anyway, i called about a darn job yesterday at a day care and it turns out that the spot was filled. Arghhhh! Here i am actually wanting to work and I can't even get a freakin' job! Why...i think everyone's out to get me...losers who don't want to work apply for a job maybe because their parents have been yelling at them for the past couple of weeks and a job is practically just given to them!!! Life is too unfair. I'm single, jobless, and I have no car. Not that I don't enjoy being single...I'm free to flirt with whomever, but sometimes i do get lonely. I don't even think that that's enough to get me involved with somebody, though. I'm probably never gonna get married...too much of an obligation. I wanna be one of them power females who doesn't rely on any man. Kind of like Judge Judy. Wait...i think she's married, but she shouldn't be. She's awesome. Anyway, LIVE SINGLE OR DIE!!! Tourettes moment, people! But, no seriously, I think that if you get into a relationship, then you are just sitting yourself up for pain. Take a good friend of mine, for example. Her man's been cheating on her and they've been together off and on for two years. May not seem like a long time, but that's two years of high school. Yeah so, anyway, she's hurt pretty bad-she cried. Stupid bastard! I know that when I went out with a loser guy in the 9th grade he was cheating on me. Did he ever tell me that he had? No. Did i catch him kissing on another girl? No. It's just something you know, as a female I guess. Vibes, intuition, call it what you want. Heck, I'll call it the sixth sense. Only we don't see dead people-we see major insensitive a-holes. What a life...

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7:28 AM
Friday, September 14, 2007

It's Friday!!! Yippeee! Best day of the freakin' week. So anyway, I came home and I noticed that there was a "worst and best dressed" People magazine laying, conveniently I must say, on my dining room table. So of course, I had to look at it(great relaxation period after a hectic school day). So, I was looking through...passed crap on Britney at the VMAs...checked out perhaps the ugliest dress that I have ever seen...and there it was! An envelope addressed to me and sent from IUS. Needless to say, I didn't really look through the rest of the magazine-I ripped that envelope open, baby! "Congratulations...yada, yada, is my pleasure to inform you of your acceptance to IUS." AMAZING!!!!! It's crazy though, because I wasn't as excited as I thought that I would be. I didn't jump up and down hysterically, or scream at the top of my lungs, and I didn't do a crazy dance. I think i just said..."Awesome..." Pretty much all I said. I should have done a crazy dance-WAIT! I just did it-kind of delayed, but I'm happy! :) Anyway, it was a great surprise. Kinda cool that my mom stuck it in a crazy tabloid. Full of lies and deceit and retarded rumors-maybe it's a conspiracy! Maybe I'm not even going to college and it's all just a really cruel experiment that the government is performing on me. Their hypothesis: Maybe I'll go to college? Correct!!! I just can't wait...but now there's SOOOO much else I've got to do! Because I'm kind of obbsessed with lists, here's all that I have to do:
1) get scholarships
2) take placement tests
3) get a network ID
4) attend orientation
5) register for classes
6) get a car
7) get a job
8) maybe get a college make over
9) graduate
10) and then actually start classes!
So much to do!!! It's good that I'm in, though. I'm happy!!! Yay me...and Jesus!!! :)

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4:56 PM
Thursday, September 13, 2007

I just finished reading that Teri Hatcher book-IT WAS GREAT!!! It was. I use to think that she was like one of them hos who let guys hang all over them...YUCK...or people who only think of themselves...Hey!!! I definitely know someone like that!!!!. It's ridiculous how this person, who I'll call "IT", only thinks of itself and doesn't realize that no one is really jealous of IT, because no one is jealous of hos, especially hos that hide behind a mask of thick foundation!!! Who does IT think IT is fooling?! Anyway, I think IT needs help!! Yay-let's get help!:) IT is insane!!! I freakin' don't even like IT-I don't even know why I talk to IT!!! I guess it's like how that old saying goes-keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer...but now IT'S too damn close for comfort...YUCK!!!

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5:28 PM
Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I am sooo po'd right now!!! I guess retarded Kathy Griffin ran her mouth a little too much at the taping of the Emmy's, so much so that they actually had to cut out much of what she said. And knowing how much of an attention whore she always is, it didn't really come as much of a surprise to me what she said. I guess that when she went up to except her award, she said, "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now." What a ho!!! Who the hell does she think she is!? You know, instead of having her freakin' head stuck in her ass all of the time and not thinking about how heartless and stupid people think she is, she needs to stick something in that freakin" mouth and SHUT THE HELL UP! Yeah, how 'bout that? Instead of sticking that dumb award on a shelf and idolizing it, she could definitely stick it in her huge, monster mouth! I mean, who the hell does she think even gave her the chance to receive that dumb piece of whatever metal it is? She sure didn't do it by herself-SHE ISN'T EVEN FUNNY FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!! No, the God who gave her breath, enough freakin' breath to run her mouth like she does, gave it to her. And, the least she could possibly do is freakin' thank him for it-I HOPE THE DAMN EMMY GNOME STEALS IT FROM HER AND EATS IT FOR BREAKFAST!!! Enough...hell, i need an emmy for the best beotchfest. I can see t now..."The first person I want to thank is Jesus, for granting me with this short fuse. I want to thank my parents for raising me right. Oh, and I wanna thank Jerry Seinfeld for hating Kathy Griffin so much(atleast on his show, but he probably hates her in real life too)..." Thank you for making my day pagan, agnostic, demonic assholes!!!

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5:02 PM
Monday, September 10, 2007

Sometimes, I have my bad days as far as my looks are concerned, but according to one of my good friends, Cassi, and my mom, I look like this girl. Her names Laura Ramsey(from She's the Man). They're kidding right? Who knows-they say everyone has their twin. EERIE!!!

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6:52 PM

I am sooo inspired right now...I'm reading a really great book by Teri Hatcher called Burnt Toast. Not only does it have an amazing title, but it is,well...kind of my love right now. It's kind of cool reading it, and realizing that she's alot like me-I can relate, and it's always nice to have someone that you can relate to. She's body conscious, she has a hard time with relationships, and she doesn't trust people very well. But, it's great...while she's going on and on about how terrible she feels about herself and how she feels guilty about treating herself well, she also elaborates on her transformation and inspires the reader to want to change. And, actually let's them know that they can, because change isn't ALWAYS ugly. And, what do you know! I've actually been trying to find SOME motivation to help me change into a better person, a better me. This may be it. Maybe-the Bible should be, but I haven't read it in a long time. Jesus must be really mad at me right now, but he knows that he's always my inspiration. I just can't get rid of that burning sensation that must be hell waiting for me! But, anyway, it takes a while sometimes to change, especially if you want to change for the better-and I HATE that! I want to stop cursing(which I surprisingly don't cus that much this year!), get fit, and actually get on a Bible reading schedule by tomorrow, dangit!!! Arggghhh! Bleeding hearts of the world unite! Anyway, wanting to be better can be torture, ya know?

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5:53 PM
Sunday, September 9, 2007's seven o'clock in the morning, and I could hardly even keep my eyes open last night. My mom and I were watching a Paul Newman flick and I practically fell over! Anyway...I don't really know what to write about this morning, but because I want to get in the habit of writing on this EVERY SINGLE DAY, I'm going to write about something. Senior pictures, since that's what I'm really pumped up about right now. Yep, I've been planning them since early last year. See, what I've been doing is actually quite ingenious. So that I won't look like an uber retard who doesn't know what she's doing, I've been looking through every magazine possible and tearing out poses that I like and pasting them in what I call my "look book." So HOPEFULLY, my pictures shouldn't look like anyone else's, which is what I'm definitely aiming for. I suppose that everyone's going to be posing next to their cars, or sitting chin on hand, or just sitting...and smiling. :) See, I'm not doing any of that! I mean, pretty much ever since I've been in school my school pictures have sucked, but now since it's my senior year, and I can pretty much do them however I want to I'm going all out with them. In other words,they better look AMAZING!!! I think that my grandma's going to do my pictures now... they'll look great. She can apparently do amazing things with pictures on her computer...but, I don't want them to be "fixed" too much. That's exactly why I'm not going somewhere where they airbrush your pictures. I've seen those pictures before and they look as if they're glowing! They're that fake looking! I want my senior pictures to showcase who I am, and I'm by no means perfect. But, i guess everyone else can try, you know? Anyway, I'm wanting to give off a vintage, glamorous, Hollywood vibe with my senior pictures. I'm even gonna do a couple of poses like Audrey Hepburn! That I'm excited about-my grandma's on the look out for some long, black gloves. Man, I just hate the wait! I AM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!!!

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7:44 AM
Saturday, September 8, 2007

Soooo...I got a little something in the mail yesterday. It was a card from IUS saying thank you for applying and that I should be expecting to get my letter within the next two weeks!!! I'm so excited right now!!! :) It was kind of funny though, because the day before, IUS actually called my house and told my mom that I forgot to specify when exactly I was going to start. And, that she just needed to know before she sent out my letter. AND, THEN THE CARD!!! OH THE SUSPENCE!!! Anyway, I'm uber damn intern nametag is practically ruined. For some stupid reason I had nail polish in my purse, and somehow it broke. Argghhh! Luckily, it didn't ruin anything else. But, my nametag?! Oh well, I'm gonna talk to my intern teacher about switching. I think I wanna teach-correction: I know I wanna teach. I'm just not sure about what grade...I'd like to teach either tiny tots or 11th grade. Either way, I'd be a totally fun teacher! I'm sick and tired of rigid teachers who have retarded deadlines and tell you what exactly what you have to do. I wanna teach english-they can write whatever the heck they want to! Geez! Anyway, I'll reform the whole thing, man.

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9:03 AM
Friday, September 7, 2007

Today, my brother is one year and one day old! Wait a exactly am I supposed to say that? Anyway, my grandma came over last night and took tons of pictures of him-they're sooo cute. Here are just a few! The last one is my favorite! Enjoy! Oh, and by the way, I got the results back from my TB test-I don't have TB!!!

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5:52 AM
Thursday, September 6, 2007

This Friday, i get placed into my department at the hospital. I think that's where I'll encounter things that will make me hate nursing and my intern FOR GOOD. I seriously hate my intern!!! It's boring...and I think I should have decided to do the teaching internship THIS semester, and never had done what I'm doing now. I think I just know that nursing is not what I want to do! And, I mean, that's what intern is for right? Its an opportunity for someone like me to try something out, only to find that I hate it. Geez! I think I hate alot of things... Anyway, it's my baby brother's B-day today. One year old! He's so cute. Maybe I'll get a picture of him eating cake for the first time...and post it on here! Only here people! Happy Birthday to Josh!

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5:58 AM
Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Sooo...I turned in my IUS application yesterday! Yep-i'm definitely college bound now. I just hope they accept me...that would suck because IUS is pretty much the only college I have in mind. I just want to make something of my life. What if I were to have kids(I'm just speculating-I'm not planning to ever have kids!)? I don't want them to hate me because I didn't go to college and I'm working at the local Micky-D's!!! I don't even like Micky-D's! Grease bucket it is. Anyway, i'm actually visiting IUS in about 2 weeks. I hope that I like it. My best friend Hannah is going there now, and she loves it! So I probably won't have any beef with it cuz she's cool. I love you Basgorn!!! Pardon my elvish.

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11:33 AM
Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I got my shots today! Really-the exclamation point doesn't mean that it was exciting. Three shots! TB, Hepatitis, and tetanus. I hated the TB because I had blood oozing out of my arm for like half an hour...gross! And, I think my left arm may be in bad shape, at least worse than my right arm, because when I got the one shot it felt like it was going to freakin' explode! But, yeah-not a great day. I started my intern over at the hospital. It was boring and I had to watch a retarded video about personal care, or whatever, and had to answer questions about it. Tonight I have to read through a packet of papers about hospital stuff. Homework already-sheesh! Oh and get this...I can't wear my beloved flats over there. Instead I have to wear stupid tennis shoes, which I HATE tennis shoes. But, I am going to get an uber cool nametag! Exciting! But yeah...the power went out at school today. It was so cool! Actually, it was while I was doing my intern over at the hospital when the lights and everything went out. And, right when I was beginning to watch another retarded video. No such luck, though, because I have to finish watching it tomorrow. Argghhh! But, anyway,my intern mentor sent me back to school and guess what-the lights were off there too. Complete darkness-the toilets didn't even work(the type that flush on there own)! Everyone at school was getting ready to go home early, but then...let there be light. The damn lights came back on, so I pretty much got my hopes up. So life sucked today. Blood leaked from my limb, I didn't get to go home early, and my happy feet aren't gonna be so happy anymore! But, I'm still gonna have my nametag. :)

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2:51 PM
Saturday, September 1, 2007

I need a freakin' job ASAP! I'm just sick and tired of being a freakin' bum, ya know? Maybe its my fault...I've only put like three applications in. I need to be more enthusiastic about this! I mean, shouldn't money be enough motivation? Yeah, I forgot who I'm talking about-*Queen of the Lazy*. Anyway, I'm sick of hos! I know it sounds random, but I'm reading that Marilyn Monroe book and she basically slept her way to the top. So basically, according to that book anyway, if anything needs to get done just sleep with a but load of people and hope you won't contract herpes. Then you'll get anything you want! And all because you have no is so unfair, though. Meaning: if your a nice person who doesn't do what everyone else wants just because you want to be you=people treat you like crap, but if your a loser poseur who pleases everyone and acts like something other than what you truly are=people love you! Am I in that place between the black and white called the Twilight Zone? GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! Hello-the hos are obviously on attack. I don't care anymore. You know, about what people think or what people are wearing or ANYTHING!!! Its crazy, but the closer I get to graduating and the closer I get to getting out of this hell-hole of a town, I could care less about anybody...I wanna go to college already and get friends and meet people who are actually mature and fun. People who are well aware of what is going on in this world and actually CARE! People who don't use others and treat you like crap for no freakin' reason! College people! Just my luck, I'm probably just going from the fire into the frying pan...a big freakin' skillet is waiting for me...HELP! It's already good riddance to high school...

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9:34 AM

The Girl

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I love 80's movies, Audrey Hepburn, music(check out my playlist!), cutting up magazines, anything yellow, yada yada yada ...

I hate baloney, abortion, people who are mean to kids(we were kids once!), liars, heartlessness, yada yada yada ....



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