Tuesday, August 7, 2007
School is starting pretty soon-5 days to be exact. Why do I feel nervous? It's not like I'm going to a new school! Heck i don't know..I do know that I have worked pretty hard this summer to change into a better person. Maybe that's why I feel like my stomach is doing flips! I still don't know what everybody will think of me, but why should I care!? It's not like I'm better than them or anything, but there are certain people who really do tick me off! It goes something like this. it was 9th grade. I was terribly unconfident and immature(now, I can be immmature minus the terrible!) and a few certain, supposed friends got the best of me. It seems like everything that I say is wrong-they just have to point out every mistake that I make. For example, I LOVE the movie Grease(i have some of the soundtrack on my playlist!) and one of my favorite songs on that movie is "There Are Worst Things I Could Do." Great song and I can actually relate, ya know? So anyway, a certain person and myself were singing it and I ACCIDENTALLY said late at night instead of every night-she gave me hell over it!!! And, you wanna know something? I knew that I made the mistake before she even freakin told me, I'm only human!!! I mean who made her God? Seriously, sometimes, they treated me so badly that I'd think that Lucifer raised his leg and out popped them!
But, I've changed! Phew! I have new friends who I love! I do feel ALOT better about myself. Point being, i don't need people like that anymore. Honestly, if I were still hanging out with them, I'd still be that gilded butterfly that only looked as if she had changed. I think that they were just pushing me to mold into whatever the hell they wanted way to soon. They weren't happy with me. :( But, now I can turn that frown upside down because they "laughed" at that gilded butterfly that I use to be, but now I've honestly changed. Now, who's laughing? Ha, Ha!!!!! And, I'm not what they wanted-I'm what I've wanted,myself. Me. Just a better me, if you know what I mean. Sure, there are still some "undiscovered" places within myself, but I'm getting there. Because through all of them stupid, dimunitive mistakes that they called me out on, there's one HUGE mistake that they made. They underestimated that tiny caterpillar that I used to be.
Labels: butterflies, caterpillars, change, friends, high school