Confessions on How to Be a Darling Silly Girl

Yep...

2008-01-11T16:03:00.000-05:00

Went to school today...wasn't exactly a great day. People are stupid. I'm sick and tired of people laughing and carrying on like nothing has even happened. And to think...these people put on a good show of caring! What freakin' talented actors they are! Argghhh! Somebody needs to beat them with a hot French fry and beat their arses ninja style. Because I happen to be so happy that they're in such a damn GOOD mood.
NOT!!And by the way, one person told me that she was casted for Twilight online. Lord knows I'd love to be in that movie. Dear Edward...darn it-I cannot wait until Midnight Sun and Breaking Dawn come out. I have got to find something to read! My patience sure is running out...with
EVERYTHING.

RIP Farrah...She Will Be Remembered :(

2008-01-10T09:22:00.000-05:00

It's unbelievable how sucky my senior year has been. And not just for me, but for everyone. One of my best friends died in a terrible car crash yesterday morning...when I found out I was just in complete shock. Not dearest Farrah! But, it was so and I cried my eyes out with others who loved her just as much. It's really hard...I easily skipped out on school today. There's no way in hell that I'm going around people that don't feel exactly the same way that I do about it, but yet still ask me what's wrong. My best friend died, dammit! And, hell maybe they have a reason for being so damn numb. Five other people have already died this school year alone. What a great senior year. Please tell me you sense the sarcasm. Actually, I really wanna freakin scream! She shouldn't have died. She was one of the sweetest, kindest, and soft spoken people that I and my friends ever knew. And she will be remembered, for sure. Man, I was so tired and worn out from all the crying I did yesterday. It was so sad when we found out. Britney, Kayla, and I held each other for the longest time, allowing our tears to soak through each others shirts. We were allowed to walk around outside, to get some air...then we went to the conference room...and then Hannah came. I love Hannah-she was perhaps closer to Farrah than any of us were. Perhaps the only highlight of yesterday, though, was when we all left school early and just chilled at Hannah's house. We saved the reminiscing for the park. Everyone who loved her...Hannah, Kimmy, James, Chris, Samantha, Michael, Britney, and me...were there. It was our own little ceremony, meant to let the spirit of Farrah know how much we love her...and also to lighten the mood. I'm not sure what happens after death. I do believe in Heaven and Hell...I just would like to know for sure that spirits watch over us. I want to know for sure that I have my own guardian angel and that I have paranormal protection and guidance. Whatever is true, I'm sure that all of us who were at the park believe that Farrah was watching over us. Farrah, we love you-you are a guardian angel to all of us :) Crap, I am going to cry again...

It Will Be Fantasmagorical !!

2008-01-03T12:30:00.000-05:00

Man, I just did not want to go to bed last night. I mean, I had to watch Project Runway...I went ahead and watched the series premiere of Biggest Losers Couples...I changed my room around...I didn't hit the sack until after I watched Tyra. She was talking to Vanessa Hudgens. 3:00 in the morning. And I wasn't even tired! It was one of those nights where I went to bed because I felt like I should, not because I was tired. And, the craziest thing-I can go to bed at 3:00 in the morning and I still wake up by 9:30 in the morning. I don't think I have ever successfully slept in. New goal! I want a day where I sleep until noon-at least noon. Don't think that's a new years resolution though! I'm not one to make those things. I mean, people make them thinkin that they're gonna change, but if anything, resolutions kind of stop you from doing just that. What I've realized is that if I don't make a HUGE deal about changing and if I just go with the flow, then i do successfully change. Lists and resolutions-they're the devil. El freakin diablo. And i do blame it all on the devil. As long as he knows what we want and how happy we want to be he automatically screws everything up. In other words, i think the real secret is to not tell anyone. Someone will find a way to screw everything up for you. Hell, sometimes I screw stuff up for myself. Anyway, have a happy new year. But, I hope it goes beyond that. Have a happy, safe, beautiful, fun, successful, memorable, crazy, delicious, sweet, amazing, and fantasmagorical 2008. Much better:)

It's Been a While...My 70th Post!!!

2008-01-02T10:38:00.000-05:00

Yep...it's been five months since i started this blog and i love it! It's the cheese to my macaroni! I wanna see Juno. Anyone else? I think the craziest thing about it is that the main girl reminds me of someone I know. Dearest Farrah Penix. It's uncanny really. She graduated last year...I graduate at the end of this semester. Argghhh! Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin into the future...anyway, it's 2008! Woopty freakin doo. Seriously, it's just gonna be another sucky year, for everybody. Poor Britney Spears. I was excited, though because Chuck was talking to one of them big time news journalists after the ball dropped. I love Chuck! I cannot wait until next season. Even more exciting though was Christmas! Yay. I got a bunch of stuff. I got some cute furry boots, an MP3 player, a Audrey Hepburn wallet, new PJ's, a couple of shirts, some beauty stuff, and more. My favorite part, always, is the stocking stuffers. I got the Office pens! There's nothing better than doing homework and knowing that Dwight Shrute will be helping me. I got some adorable plaid socks. So much more. Then i did some shopping with my own moolah. I got a new jacket, wallet, clutch, earrings(clip-ons, my body's a temple:), some shirts, a skirt. All from Goodwill. I'm crazy!! Then, this weekend, i got my senior pictures taken! They look pretty good, actually. They turned out great. I did kind of have an idea of what i was gong to do, but when i started posing I just did whatever. It's just gonna be hard deciding which one to turn into the yearbook! Argghhh! I spent most of the weekend getting my pictures taken...the first day was hectic. We decided to run to Seymour-more shopping. IDK...I wanted a new pair of skinny jeans. Can you believe that JCPenny's was the only place that had them?! We went to Goody's, Fashion Bug, Gap...Penny's was the last place we went to. i did get an adorable shirt at Goody's though. It has little bows on it. Awww! Anyway, my grandma did get me my skinny jeans. Nothing better than the feel of new jeans... But yeah, I'm getting a HUGE mirror installed in my room. I think my grandpa's gonna do it, actually. I'm thinkin that it's gonna go from floor to ceiling. So cool!! But yeah, been busy. I've actually been watching the Top Model Modelthon on VH1. I seriously cannot get enough of that show. Yeah, i think I'm gonna watch TV now :)

Just Sittin' Around

2007-12-23T07:22:00.000-05:00

Ok...it's Christmas break and I'm up at 6:00 in the morning. Am I insane!!?? Anyway, I was just checking out some scholarships on fastweb, and I found two. The deadlines aren't until sometime in April, but I'm thinkin that I'll go ahead and write the essays now just to get them over with. Yep...I just hope I actually get around to writing them. And it's not like I'm a super busy workaholic. No I'm the girl who doesn't have a job and sits on her butt eating, watching TV, and reading. But, still the hard part is actually getting off my lazy butt. And the craziest part is that I don't even have to get off of my butt to write an essay! I'll write them...I will. There. Anyway, I watched Christmas Vacation last night. I love that movie! I pledge allegiance to the flag...Amen! Ha! Oh, and the traditional Christmas Story Marathon is Monday! Yippeee! Who actually watches the whole marathon, though? I want to know someone who sits all day on Christmas Eve, watching nothing but A Christmas Story. I'll give them a cookie. Mmmm, cookies...anyway, I've been watching alot of TV. I tuned into that 100 Best Songs of the 90's thingy on VH1. It was cool and pretty nostalgic. Seen some of my fave songs. Jeremy...Under the Bridge...Creep...All I Wanna Do is Have Some Fun...Good Riddance...Loser...Semi-Charmed Life...Linger...Freak on a Leash...oh so many! And of course, Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit was #1. Which wasn't surprising at all, considering their music pretty much defined the 90s, especially the teenage years. Anyone, who doesn't love Nirvana sucks! Woot! I smell breakfast...

All You Need is Love

2007-12-20T16:35:00.000-05:00

Yay!!! No school for two and a half weeks! Heck freakin' yeah!!! I can't wait until Christmas! Too bad I'm not gonna see any friends for a while, though. :( One of my friends grandparents died last night. I hate it when my friends cry-it makes me wanna cry :( Oh well...she'll be happy soon enough. Lord knows our school talent show probably didn't help her. I mean, it wasn't all bad. One of my guy friends played the guitar and then one of his friends(who I'm not that well acquainted with) played Fire by Hendrix. It was freakin' awesome! Yeah! But, more than enough sucked. I'm a senior, which means that I've seen maybe 7 or 8 school talent shows, so it was expected. Oh well. Guess what? My intern teacher actually got me a Christmas gift! I was actually surprised when she handed me a bag, and was like "Hey, this is for you!"(or something like that). She got me a Baby Phat makeup box and she gave me $20.00! Groovy! It's great to feel loved :) After all, the Beatles said "All you need is love!"

Getting Away With Murder

2007-12-17T17:34:00.000-05:00

Yep, Christmas vacation is about to start. I can't wait. No school for about three weeks-now that's a great Christmas present! I'm definitely gonna use my time wisely. Sure I get to sleep in, but I'm gonna really crunch down on scholarships and crap like that. I've already applied for one, but I'm smarter than that. There's no way in heck that one scholarship will get me anywhere. And that's if I even get it! IDK...all this college stuff is freakin' annoying. Ok...it's beyond freakin' annoying-it's perhaps enough to kill someone. The FAFSA, college applications, orientation, money...it's all a freakin' silent assassinating...thing...waiting to murder. I think it's slowly murdering me! It's just really, really, really, freakin' overwhelming. I mean, getting in was the easiest part ever! It's everything afterwards that's pure suckage! I need a Cappuccino. Maybe I'll go to Hollywood. That's a thought. The question is would I rather get murdered by porn-druggie-obsessed freaks(thank you Kyle Hamilton) or crazy insane college crap. That's a good question. :)

Snow is the Devil !!!

2007-12-15T15:14:00.000-05:00

Yep, snow has officially fallen here where I'm at. I hate snow!!! And, this isn't even the pretty, pure white snow because it snowed and then rained, so now it's all soggy and gross. Disgusting...and I'm definitely a ballet flat girl, so that sucks as well because I obviously can't wear them in the snow. I hate tennis shoes. I want a pair of boots with fur on them. Yay for Eskimos!!! Anyway, the Twilight movie is now in pre-production. They already had casted Kristen Stewart as Bella. Well, the most anticipated casting was that of Edward. I mean who can play the perfect vampire? Gerard Way? no. Hayden Christensen? no. Anybody hott? NO!!! They casted Robert Pattinson!!! He's hideous...I don't like him. Now, when the movie comes out and I go to see it it won't be as enjoyable as it would have been if they picked SOMEONE THAT'S ACTUALLY HOTT!!! Losers! Anyway, I'm getting off of here. An America's Next Top Model marathon is calling my name...

Thursday Thirteen #3

2007-12-12T17:11:00.000-05:00

Thirteen Reasons to Read the Twilight Series by Stephenie Meyer:

1. werewolves vs. vampires What's cooler than that?
2. Edward Cullen is the most perfect guy ever!
3. We can all relate to the human, Isabella Swan.(girls that is)
4. Joining vampires is still more healthy than joining a gang.
5. They(books) can make you believe in the unbelievable.
6. It gives you hope that perhaps a guy could really love you, despite all of your mistakes.
7. They reveal more than just the stereotypical garlic-allergic, sunlight avoiding, sleeping-in-coffins vampires. The vampires in these books are wayyyy cooler than that!
8. You have to read them before the Twilight movie comes out!(I can't wait!)
9. You'll learn that, sometimes, being careless gets you exactly what you want.
10. You'll realize that having both a cold, dead, glittery guy and a warm, strong, half-human guy can have it's perks.
11. They're books even your mom will love. (I know my mom did!)
12. Well, they're better than any book you're forced to read in school, and...
13. THEY ARE AWESOME!!!

Thursday Thirteen

Blah, Blah, Blah....

2007-12-10T17:07:00.001-05:00

Guess what? The crazy people of this town haven't made me weird like them...yet. Right now, I kind of wish that they would, though. I could totally abduct my english teacher until he nicely decided to not make us read the most retarded book ever, Pride and Prejudice. I seriously HATE that book. I mean can you get any more boring? I actually have a reading assignment tonight...I think I'll wait. Perhaps I'll rely on cliff notes. Anyway, I think I wanna dye my hair. Red maybe. I get bored and I hate it! Arghhhh!!! Sooo, I'm getting my senior pics done in a couple weeks actually. I'm totally excited. There's this one pose that i am gonna do and it's of Twiggy and she's wearing this really adorable dress. Well, I was looking at it, and it turns out that I have the same exact dress, only it's polka dot! What are the odds of that? So yeah, can't wait for that. Speaking of Twiggy, I watched the marathon of this season's Top Model, leading up to the finale, on Saturday. This is the first season that I have ever watched and I love it! Go Tyra...and Twiggy! Wooot!!! If only I was taller...I would love to be on that show. The pictures that those models pose for are absolutely beautiful. I liked Heather(yay-we share names!). I hated Bianca. I totally want Chantel to win. Finale on Wednesday! Yayyyyy! And then after that Project Runway! Totally happy!!! :):):) Oh, and check out my playlist. Go directly to the bottom and you'll see that I changed it up and added some songs that I should have had on there all this time!

Totally Random...Oh! and I'm Back!

2007-12-08T08:02:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I haven't posted on here in a while. Let's just say that an astronomical phone bill can really screw up your love affair with a computer. :) Anyway, things have happened. I just read the most amazing book series ever (Twilight-now I have to wait for the 4th installment)...my hair straightener broke(Argghhhh!! my bangs hate me now)...I'm in a play next week and it's guaranteed that there's gonna be 500 some odd children there(including the newspaper)...a really annoying freaky, what-the-hell-did-his-parents-do-to-him kind of guy keeps on asking me out(I keep on saying no)...I hate the people in this town...I really wanna see Sweeney Todd...Beowulf is an awesome movie...I don't know Spanish...and i still haven't applied for any scholarships. Yep, sure more stuff has happened in the ultra exciting life of "De Schmidmeister"(courtesy of my English teacher), but I really do not feel like typing my hands off right now. Yikes-that would suck...anyway, I watched that Movies Rock thing on CBS last night. I'm kind of TO'd because where the hell were the Grease songs?! How the hell can you have a show that commemorates the greatest movie music ever without singing "You're The One That I Want" or Hopelessly Devoted"?! Freakin' losers. Much like the people in this town. I am seriously starting to believe that the people in my town are aliens. Ok, whenever I go somewhere, people stare. Ok, I know I'm not that hideous, so I really just wanna stab their freakin eyes out. Seriously, there are going to be a bunch of freakin eyeballs rolling around my town. IDK-it's like they know that I wasn't born here, or whatever, and they're just a bunch of freakin' pods waiting for the perfect time to attack me and make me weird like them. Freaks. It's not my fault that I've actually been out in the world. Yeah...while I was in California and South Carolina and elsewhere, they were having their little alien meetings here. I'm not kidding when I say that I'm scared. Yep...I cannnot wait for college. I wanna get away. But, WILL THE FREAKISH, INSANE, POD-LIKE, ALIEN PEOPLE OF THIS TOWN LET ME? Oh no, we'll have to find out on the next post. To be continued.
Oh and this is for Santa. You know them cute coats that are plaid and are kind of short and tie around the waist. Well, I think they're really cute. Love you :)

Thursday Thirteen #2

2007-11-14T18:06:00.000-05:00

Well, it's that time of year again...and I want stuff!!! So, here are 13 things that I want for Christmas. Note: they are in no particular order!

1.an IPOD
2.a cellphone-I'm pretty sure that I'm the last person on the planet without one of these!
3.a yellow laptop
4.a digital camera
5.a yellow vintage prom dress-just planning ahead!
6.colored skinny jeans(like yellow)
7.anything with owls on it or anything having to do with owls.(yep, I love owls)
8.Nerd Herd T-shirt because I'm in love with Chuck!
9.a toy pomeranean
10.pair of Ked flats-the ones that Mischa Barton is for
11.awesome alien lamp below
12.japanese street fashion clothes
13.and a cute car.

Strawberries and Cream

2007-11-14T14:52:00.002-05:00

Ok, so my theatre arts class is my favorite class, so I'm pretty excited about a play that we're going to be doing for the Christmas season. It's called "The Christmas Reunion", which means that it's just a big reunion...of Mother Goose and Christmasy characters. I guess the whole point of it is that all the characters are giving presents to Father Christmas, or whatever. I'm actually pretty excited, though because it is cute and..*drum roll*...I've been casted as Curly Locks! Didn't know too much about that nursery rhyme, but since I have curly hair, what the hey. But, I did google her and I guess the whole point of the rhyme is to show the beauty of curls. It's about some guy asking for her and she says no and that she just wants to eat strawberries and cream. Yep...I'd rather eat strawberries and cream too. But yeah, I'm happy-I have a cute vintage dress that's green; it would go great with my part. But hell, teach still wants all of us to pimp our lines up a bit, so it should be better. But anyway, I've been in one play before. It was a little hard, because I found myself giggling. But, the whole reason I took this class was to overcome my anxiety about people. I swear, I've had plenty of panic attacks just over talking to people, or being in places where there are alot of people. I remember one time, when I was going into the gas station and I literally freaked out! All I was getting was suckers! ARGHHH! But yeah, I promised myself that I would do my best in this class...I've done well. Sometimes, if I'm scared of getting up in front of people, I imagine that I'm a big time actress. It definitely helps! But yeah, I've done good...I got my report card today. Straight A's. I don't know why this started happening, but it really takes a load of stress off. That's for sure. I remember when I was a freshman(which seems eons ago)I got mostly B's and C's. I mean sure, screwing up that year has really lowered my GPA, but I'm happy that I'm doing better. I just didn't care. Now I do...mmm, my hair smells like strawberries and cream. Well, better get off of here before the teacher catches me.

Wordless Wednesday #8

2007-11-13T15:38:00.001-05:00

Yep, I know that this is supposed to be WORDLESS Wednesday, but I absolutely love this girl's hair!

Mall Rats

2007-11-12T15:40:00.000-05:00

Sooo...I visited my future college this weekend. I love that place...but you know what? I've changed my major once again. Now I really, really, really wanna get into journalism and media so that I can become a magazine editor. Imagine-I could be working for Vogue someday. Which I guess would fit me pretty well because I'm always being complimented on how I dress. Hey, it's not my fault that I don't dress like everyone else at school. I mean, if you try to compliment anyone else's clothes at school, you realize that you're complimenting most everybody!! Geez. Anyway, I went to the mall with one of my best friends, Kayla, and had tons of fun. Something we realized is that we can't go anywhere without drooling over guys. We have sooooo much fun guy watching. :) But yeah, I always go crazy in Claire's so that was no biggy, but Kohl's is now mine and Kayla's favorite store. Well, that particular Kohl's is. We went crazy! Seriously, it's a wonder that they didn't kick us out of the place! Dude, I could have been a fugitive! Woot! But yeah, seen a coat that I could have died for. It was $120.00!!! B freakin' S! I'm absolutely happy until i remember that I DON'T HAVE A FREAKIN' JOB!!!

Yay!!! It's Beautiful Woman Month!!!

2007-11-08T15:58:00.000-05:00

Bet you didn't know that! Well, neither did I until the beautiful Hannah sent it to me via email. Gotta love her. Anyway, it's true, and I think that it's something that we, women that is, should really take to heart. We are actually really beautiful, each and everyone of us. I think someone(bad memory-sorry!) said it best...there are no ugly women just lazy ones. So if you do feel ugly, like I do sometimes(hey I can't be beautiful all of the time! just kidding! I'm really the least conceited person ever), then maybe you should do something to make yourself feel as beautiful as possible. Get your hair done...or buy a new pair of rockin' jeans...or you could even say something kind to someone. Yeah, i know it's cliche, but it's true that beauty really does come from within. I'm sure that we have all known someone who is so rude and psycho that the amount of makeup they wear or however much flesh they show really doesn't do them any good. Just keep that in mind...oh and here's some poetry. Hey i love poetry and it kinda goes with the theme, right?

~Beauty of a Woman~
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman Is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With passing years -- only grows.

Wordless Wednesday #7

2007-11-07T06:08:00.000-05:00

Yay for Lemons!!!

2007-11-04T08:03:00.000-05:00

Soo...I haven't posted on here in a few days. Sorry! It's just so easy to get sidetracked. Which is crazy, because I really don't have that much of a life. But, I went to the library yesterday, which was uber exciting because I finally got to get a book that I wanted!! YAY! See, we had to read a book for english class and we could only pick from a list with certain books on it. Not that I didn't enjoy the book I read! The Loved One by Evelyn Waugh...good book, if you like dry humor surrounding a love triangle between a poser poet, a funeral instructor, and a cosmetician for dead people. But, it was a great read but I did find myself racing through it because i am quite obsessed with these one books. They are the Hannah Swenson mysteries and they all are titled after a certain dessert, like Cherry Cheesecake Murder or Lemon Meringue Pie Murder(which is the one that I got at the library yesterday) and there are recipes throughout the books. They are just really sweet reads and I haven't been able to read them for a while. So now I'm really happy. :) But yeah, I also got this other book...with college tips and stuff. And, just so you know, I'm pretty serious about going to college and doing my best there and all that crap. Well there's this list in this college book and it's a whole list of books that college people expect you to have already read by time you get to college. It's a list of, like, 100 books or so and I've only read maybe 7 of them. Seriously, I don't even know where i would have ever found the time to read so many books-especially since I spend my time reading other books...like mystery food books! -but I think I'm gonna try to read some of them. I really am, but that is when I'm done reading all of these mysteries! Yum!!!

Wordless Wednesday #6

2007-10-30T16:44:00.001-04:00

Ghosts and Vampires...oh yay!!!

2007-10-27T08:43:00.000-04:00

Sooo, boredom is definitely an issue for me right now! Arghhhh!!! Anyway, last night was cool. Only two of my most favorite shows were on, Ghost Whisperer and Moonlight. Amazing shows. *Love* But, seriously, both my mom and I are sitting right in front of the TV at 8:00 to watch Ghost Whisperer every Friday night, but I've been bugging her because she still hadn't watched Moonlight. I mean it's not really her fault. Once my baby brother falls asleep she has no choice but to go to bed with him or he'll wake right up just because she's not next to him. I know it's cute. But, she actually got to watch it last night. Boy, he was hyper yesterday! But, yeah, I'm sure that I just drove her crazy about watching it. But, anything that has to do with vampires and ghosts I'm pretty much obsessed with. I love them!!! Speaking of which, if any of you guys don't watch Ghost Hunters, I really do suggest that you start watching-especially next week, because they're going to be at the Waverly Hills Sanitarium in Louisville and it's going to be live. Sweetness! But yeah, Sci Fi 9:00 and it airs on Halloween. Yay!!! But, anyway in other television news...I love the office, but it returned to it's half hour long format this week. I have to tell you, I liked the hour long episodes. Oh well, I guess you can't always get what you want. Why is it so freakin' easy to quote that Stones song?! Anyway...I think I feel like watching The Producers. "Unhappy...unhappy..very unhappy
Unhappy...unhappy...
Very very very very very
Very very unhappy"
I absolutely love the soundtrack!

Wordless Wednesday #5

2007-10-23T19:12:00.001-04:00

Good ol' Halloween

2007-10-20T08:15:00.001-04:00

Ok, so I'm stumped. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to dress up as for Halloween. Yes, I'm 18 and I'm pretty sure that I'm going. It's crazy-I haven't gone trick-or-treating in...forever it seems like. Anyway, I was thinking of going hippie or boho-ish. Not necessarily including drugs or massive orgies. I'm thinking more along the lines of Kate Moss or Sienna Miller. Easy-I have the hair and the clothes. Or maybe as Twiggy. Hmmm...dunno. Anyway, any suggestions or how about telling me what your going to Halloween as. Make comments people!!! Oh and I'm a picture nut. Just saying. Anyway, I just have a major hunger for candy this year.

Freakin News People Took the Office Away!!!

2007-10-19T16:44:00.000-04:00

Sooo...I've filled out yet another application. For the library! Oh goody, I just love books. No sarcasm there-I really do. Anyway, I don't even know why I keep on filling out retarded applications when I know that I most likely won't get the damn job. I know I should be more optimistic, but I'm constantly getting my hopes up. Anyway, I'm really ticked off. I guess there's supposed to be a Christian rock concert put on by the band Kutless Sunday in a nearby town. The only thing is that our phone has been turned off due to an almost $1,ooo bill. Yep, I guess we talk alot on the phone. But, yeah, can't really get a hold of anybody so that I can see if anybody would wanna go. Bleeding hearts of the world unite!!! Oh well, honestly I don't even feel like going(I never feel like doing or going anywhere) , but I do feel like complaining. :) It'll most likely be really freakin' cold anyway, and knowing my lack of meat on my bones, I'll most likely freeze my butt off. But yeahhhh...there were some terrible storms last night in my area, and pretty much all over the nation. But, there were like 28 tornadoes just where I'm at. No joke! And, of course I had flashes of Twister and even Wizard of Oz in my head. Really, i don't even know how I got to sleep last night...I guess because the freakin lights went out! Which didn't really matter because I ended up missing one of my favorite shows. The Office. Haven't seen it? I suggest you watch-it's amazing! Love it. Anyway, couldn't watch it because the freakin' local news interrupted the whole freakin' program. I guess just so that they could get their 15 minutes of fame or whatever. Geez! I mean, you can only tell people so much that there's a freakin' tornado before they freakin' go insane. And people did! I guess a butt load of people were calling the news station and emailing them to shut the heck up and go back to the normal program so that we could watch our shows. Hilarious!!! No, I didn't call in-I sure did wnat to, though. Boy, would I have given them a piece of my mind. I declare bankruptcy!!! I didn't say it...I delared it. Anyway, they're showing repeats of The Office. Thank you Lord!!! Hmmm...I hear my mom eating chips. Yep, I'm done writing. Just like that.

Dog Day Afternoon

2007-10-18T18:46:00.000-04:00

So...Ellen Degenerous is pretty freakin cool. She loves animals-which I already knew that because of that wacky American Express Card commercial that she did, but if you didn't catch her episode about Iggy the dog, or if for some odd reason you haven't heard about it, she cried her eyes out...about Iggy the dog. Actually pretty sad. I guess she got a dog from the pound, or whatever, and she didn't want it so she gave it to her hairdresser, but the pound took it back because it wasn't Ellen's dog anymore. Yeah, and she felt totally responsible because the dog was taken away from the hair person and her kids. Ellen hasn't had a great life-why don't they just leave her the hell alone and give the freakin dog back. Oh yeah that's right-they've already given it to another family. Losers!!! But yeah, I guess a good share of death threats have been made toward the dog place...seriously, if it weren't for famous peeps and their oh-so-dramatic lives, I'd totally lack a satisfying life. I mean, even when they're not making movies, they are still so entertaining. Oh well, back to the real world...

Wordless Wednesday #4

2007-10-17T19:04:00.000-04:00

He Was the Cheese

2007-10-15T18:43:00.000-04:00

Sooo, I went to see an amazing play at a private college Saturday. Oedipus Rex it was called. Which was pretty cool because I had to perform that same play in my theatre arts class. *Love*. Anyway, it was cool, only I didn't get home until close to midnight. Thanks to Kayla, though, I had a great and memorable time! See, we were at a college with some other people in my theatre class and,of course, we were boy watching, ya know? Well, we saw this gorgeous guy, but it was sooooo weird! His whole family looked like rats! It definitely did not look right. We kept checking him out trying to get his attention, but instead of him looking at us his stupid rat dad kept turning around and looking in our direction every time that we would look in the beautiful guy's direction. I remember I told Kayla, "Kayla, he's like the cheese and eventually they're going to eat him! We need to kidnap him and get him the hell out of here!" We eventually did get his attention and he kept looking our way, but we never did get to his rescue. Oh well, i would have crapped if his family started hissing at us! But, there was something else! There was this really weird group of college kids and this one guy within the group had this HUGE stuffed duck. I have no idea what would posess him to bring it to a pretty serious play, but he sat it sown next to one of my friends. She didn't notice it at first, but when she did she freaked out. It was hilarious. Man, it was some weird and wild stuff!!! I tell you what though, I can't wait to meet the characters that will be at my college!

Wordless Wednesday #3

2007-10-10T11:16:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

Oh the boredom!!!

2007-10-06T15:26:00.000-04:00

Uhhh...do you ever get so bored that you think you could die? That's how I feel right about now. I've been helping my mom clean up the house all day. Did laundry-oh how fun!!! Please tell me you sense the sarcasm. I am certainly NOT a laundry nut. I seen an old friend however, at the laundry mat. She didn't say a word to me. But, I actually wasn't really that surprised. She graduated last year and by time her last day of school came around I was jumping up and down from complete happiness. I was glad that I wouldn't have to put up with her this year. Let's just say that I hate beotches who think that their better than everyone else just because they've hooked up with nearly everybody in their graduating class. Not to mention she's a true red head. Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against red heads. If you do have red hair I just am saying that she gives red heads a bad name by only proving what so many people believe about redheads-they're evil!!! But, who am I kidding. Heck, my hair is reddish...only I'm a true blond on the inside :).

Wordless Wednesday

2007-10-02T18:56:00.001-04:00

I Love These Things!!!

2007-09-30T10:19:00.000-04:00

basics
whats your name?	Heather Nicole
what do people call you?	Schmiddy, de shmidmeister, Roo, Skinny Roo
where you named after anything?	Heather Lockleare
if you were born the oppisite sex what would your name be?	according to my mom, Sebastian Bach
do people spell/say your name wrong?	all the time dang it!
if you could change your name what would you change it to?	I'm pretty happy with the name I have now-people like it!
gender?	female
birthday?	April 8th, 1989
age?	18
age you act?	it varies
age you want to be?	9999
height?	5'4"
eye color?	grayish blue
happy with it?	yes I am, thank you very much
natural hair color?	really, really, really blonde!
happy with it? if not do you dye it?	I've dyed my hair once. It was supposed to have been dark brown, but it looked black against my pale skin.
righty or lefty?	righty tighty
family?	dysfunctional
pets?	nope
peircings?	nope
tatoos?	nope
love and stuff
single?	and happy :)
who are you with, or who do you want to be with?	I want to be with someone who's sweet and funny
are you in love?	with my momma
have you ever been in love, if so how many times?	twice-it was alot like love
do you believe in love at first sight?	nope-you really have to know the person first. Love at first sight is actually lust in disguise.
is it possible to be faithful to one person for ever?	yep
do you want to get married?	nope-too much of an obligation
do you want to have kids?	hmmm....I wanna adopt
how many?	well, it would be cool to have a "brady bunch"!
do you believe in divorce?	yep-if they aren't who you fell in love with at the beginning, get rid of them! Geez!
do you belive in true love?	ehhh...yeahhh, but love hurts
do you consider love a mistake?	refer to last question please!
turn-ons?	humor, beautiful eyes, great taste in music, honesty, the list goes on
turns-offs?	there are so many! The major one, though is when a guy tries to act all macho. i can't stand it when a guy tries to hard
do you think the oppisite sex finds you attractive?	I guess so
what is best about the opposite sex?	how gullible they are ;)
what is worst about the oppisite sex?	they all seem so sexist and cocky
are you a virgin?	yep
do you belive you should be in love to have sex?	yep
how far have you gone?	well, I haven't hit a homerun!
how many people have you had sex with?	zero, zip, nada
do other people consider you a slut?	I can't see why they would!
right at this moment...
where are you?	in my own little world
what can you see out your window?	the house across the street. Oh, and our grass needs mowed
are you listening to music?	yep-"Gravity" by the Dresden Dolls
are you lonely or tired?	neither
use 5 words to decribe how you are feeling:	I am feeling quite happy! :)
are you talking to anyone online? if so who?	nope
are you talking to anyone of the phone? if so who?	nope
what are you wearing?	PJs!
what are you doing?	this survey!
whats on your mousepad?	my mouse!
friends
how many true friends do you have?	maybe two or three
are you a loner?	sometimes
who is your best friend?	Jesus!
oldest?	Hannah
newest?	Heather C.
shyest?	Kayla
loudest?	Amanda
smartest?	Kayla
ditziest?	Lynnette
funniest?	Amanda
who is the best listener?	Hannah
do you prefer to hang out with one friend or a group of friends?	depends
who do you wish you were closer to?	Lynnette
who knows the most about you?	Hannah
who knows the least about you?	people whom I've only recently started hanging out with
who do you trust the most?	Hannah
the least?
who do you fight with the most?	Heather R.
who do you talk to online the most?	Hannah
who do you talk to on the phone the most?	I hardly ever use the phone!
do you trust others easily?	kinda sorta but, hurt me once your fault hurt me twice my fault
name one who's arms you feel safe in:	Jesus!
who house were you at last?	Brad's
who's your second family?	my friends
who lives the farthest away?	Lynette and Kayla
do you....
smoke?	nope-there are cooler ways to die
drink alcohol?	does wine count? how 'bout root beer?
do drugs?	nope
pray?	yep
go to church?	nope
sleep with stuffed animals?	sometimes
take walks in the rain?	yep
dance in the rain?	yep
do any sports? if so which ones?	nope-I'm 'bout the laziest person ever!
sleep around?	around the house. Hey! i get bored!
lie a lot?	nope...wait I just lied!
steal?	sometimes
gamble?	nope
have you ever....
kissed a stranger?	nope
slept with a stranger?	nope
spun until you were so dizzy you couldn't walk?	yep
screamed so much you lost your voice?	yep
laughed so much it was painful?	yep
cried so much it was painful?	yep
gone skinny dipping?	nope
played strip poker?	nope
had a medical emergency?	yep
ran away from home?	nope
done something extremely unexpected?	yep
slept outside?	yep
been onstage?	yep
deep stuff....
whats your biggest fear?	snakes
what was your weirdest dream?	I was a ghost floating down our stairs. i could actually feel that butterfly feeling like when your on a rollercoaster!
scariest dream?	when i was little I had this dream all the time where there was this alien trying to get me. the crazy thing was that it grew with me!
do you have a reoccuring dream?	refer to last two Q's and I always have these dreams where everything around me turns into snakes!
what was your best dream?	obviously it wasn't that great because I can't remember it!
what IS your dream?	to be a model and actress
do you live in the moment?	sometimes
what you greatest strength?	I'm optimistic
whats your greatest weakness?	i worry alot
do you have a motto you live by?	hmmm...i love mottos! I guess I'll choose "bleeding hearts of the world unite!" since I get frustrated alot! Thank you Jim Carrey!
if your life were a movie what would it be called?	She Who Has No Life
do you have any bad habits?	oh gosh, tons!
do you have any secrets?	yep
are you fake?	i wouldn't say that, but I am a combination of a bunch of people, if you know what I mean.
what do you want to do in life?	to achieve happiness
are you a daredevil?	nope
are you predictable?	sometimes
do you keep a journal/diary?	I keep a blog
if you could change one thing about you would you? what would it be?	I'd become fearless
if you were someone else, would you be friends with yourself?	yep
do you think your a good person?	ehhh...not always!
do you think your emotionally strong?	nope
do you regret anything?	alot of things...
do you think life has been good so far?	it's been ok
what do you like most about you body?	my eyes and legs
least?	my feet-they're really skinny
are you trust worthy?	yep
are you gullible?	i only act that way sometimes-turns out I'm not the gullible one!

Ahhh!! Real Zombies!!!

2007-09-29T10:35:00.000-04:00

Sooo...today I'm turning in an application to a local video store. I'm just really hoping that I get the job! I mean, it's not like I don't need one-i'm pretty much sick and tired of being a bum. WHERE IS THE MERCY?! Anyway, it's gotta be totally rad working in a video store. I have visions of watching amazing new movies before anyone else even thinks of renting them...hands off! I'd be hounding all the movies in the back somewhere, while everyone is complaining and the place is losing business. Seems great...oh well, probably empty wishing. I might not even get the job. Anywho, I seen Resident Evil:Extinction the other night. Loved it. If you haven't seen it I don't want to give the movie away, but I've gotta warn you! Do not leave the theatre!!! It starts out exactly the same as the first one, but...lets just say that it changes into the amazing triquel that it really is. I just really do love zombies. Which makes me mad about something else. Senior shirts-one of my good friends designed an awesome senior t-shirt that had zombies and gravestones on it. It was trully something that I would wear, but it didn't get picked, just because it was too depressing or whatever. Cry babies. They're just mad because they didn't create it. Stupid losers had to pick the design with our mascot on it. How many shirts do we need with lions on them!!! How unoriginal. Ok, now I'm just not going to buy a senior shirt. Sucks ass!!! I want zombies-wah, wah, wah! Ok, I'm not actually crying, but I could be on the inside. :) It was really cool when my bro and I were younger, though. we would sometimes go outside and act like we were running away from zombies. Yep...good times. We'd get in our car and pretend that we were being pursued by flesh eating zombies, and we were having the time of our lives! Man, that sounds like fun right about now. Too bad I'm 18. But, noone else has to know that!!! Yeah man!!!

My Very First Thursday 13!

2007-09-28T02:35:00.000-04:00

My mom has been doing Thursday 13 for a while now and it is all that she talks about. So i figured that the only way to shut her up was to do my own list of 13!

13 Philosophies That I Live By

1. Peace, Love, and Happiness ~~~~ Minus the drugs.

2. When all else fails, watch a good movie.

3. Laughter is the greatest medicine of all.

4. When words aren't loud enough, there is always music.

5. Color, do crazy dances, do anything that lets your inner child out.

6. True beauty is found only in nature.

7. Trust no one.

8. Always cherish good times.

9. Don't let anyone think that they are better than you.

10. Get inspired.

11. Prove those who doubt you ~ wrong!

12. It is all right to cry.

13. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Wordless Wednesday

2007-09-26T09:15:00.000-04:00

2007-09-22T07:28:00.000-04:00

Sooo...I finally visited my future college and I loved it! It's easy to get from building to building, it's really pretty, and there were MANY hott guys. There was this one and I'm sure I drove my one friend crazy because I would not stop talking about him. He was sooo beautiful...anyway, i think i should definitely start applying for scholarships. See, there's this honor day thingy at the end of my school year just for seniors. It's where we seniors(well, everybody, but we're really the only ones that matter!)have to sit through two hours worth of awards and scholarships and recognition. For the past three years I've HATED it, but since it's my year I'm kind of excited. But anyway, i want to get tons of scholarships and crap. I don't want to end my senior year and just be recognized for what diploma I'm gonna receive. I want to have a grand finale, ya know? Anyway, I have a list of scholarships somewhere. Man, i need freakin' motivation. Anyway, i called about a darn job yesterday at a day care and it turns out that the spot was filled. Arghhhh! Here i am actually wanting to work and I can't even get a freakin' job! Why...i think everyone's out to get me...losers who don't want to work apply for a job maybe because their parents have been yelling at them for the past couple of weeks and a job is practically just given to them!!! Life is too unfair. I'm single, jobless, and I have no car. Not that I don't enjoy being single...I'm free to flirt with whomever, but sometimes i do get lonely. I don't even think that that's enough to get me involved with somebody, though. I'm probably never gonna get married...too much of an obligation. I wanna be one of them power females who doesn't rely on any man. Kind of like Judge Judy. Wait...i think she's married, but she shouldn't be. She's awesome. Anyway, LIVE SINGLE OR DIE!!! Tourettes moment, people! But, no seriously, I think that if you get into a relationship, then you are just sitting yourself up for pain. Take a good friend of mine, for example. Her man's been cheating on her and they've been together off and on for two years. May not seem like a long time, but that's two years of high school. Yeah so, anyway, she's hurt pretty bad-she cried. Stupid bastard! I know that when I went out with a loser guy in the 9th grade he was cheating on me. Did he ever tell me that he had? No. Did i catch him kissing on another girl? No. It's just something you know, as a female I guess. Vibes, intuition, call it what you want. Heck, I'll call it the sixth sense. Only we don't see dead people-we see major insensitive a-holes. What a life...

2007-09-14T16:56:00.001-04:00

It's Friday!!! Yippeee! Best day of the freakin' week. So anyway, I came home and I noticed that there was a "worst and best dressed" People magazine laying, conveniently I must say, on my dining room table. So of course, I had to look at it(great relaxation period after a hectic school day). So, I was looking through...passed crap on Britney at the VMAs...checked out perhaps the ugliest dress that I have ever seen...and there it was! An envelope addressed to me and sent from IUS. Needless to say, I didn't really look through the rest of the magazine-I ripped that envelope open, baby! "Congratulations...yada, yada, yada...it is my pleasure to inform you of your acceptance to IUS." AMAZING!!!!! It's crazy though, because I wasn't as excited as I thought that I would be. I didn't jump up and down hysterically, or scream at the top of my lungs, and I didn't do a crazy dance. I think i just said..."Awesome..." Pretty much all I said. I should have done a crazy dance-WAIT! I just did it-kind of delayed, but I'm happy! :) Anyway, it was a great surprise. Kinda cool that my mom stuck it in a crazy tabloid. Full of lies and deceit and retarded rumors-maybe it's a conspiracy! Maybe I'm not even going to college and it's all just a really cruel experiment that the government is performing on me. Their hypothesis: Maybe I'll go to college? Correct!!! I just can't wait...but now there's SOOOO much else I've got to do! Because I'm kind of obbsessed with lists, here's all that I have to do:

1) get scholarships
2) take placement tests
3) get a network ID
4) attend orientation
5) register for classes
6) get a car
7) get a job
8) maybe get a college make over
9) graduate
10) and then actually start classes!

So much to do!!! It's good that I'm in, though. I'm happy!!! Yay me...and Jesus!!! :)

2007-09-13T17:28:00.000-04:00

I just finished reading that Teri Hatcher book-IT WAS GREAT!!! It was. I use to think that she was like one of them hos who let guys hang all over them...YUCK...or people who only think of themselves...Hey!!! I definitely know someone like that!!!!. It's ridiculous how this person, who I'll call "IT", only thinks of itself and doesn't realize that no one is really jealous of IT, because no one is jealous of hos, especially hos that hide behind a mask of thick foundation!!! Who does IT think IT is fooling?! Anyway, I think IT needs help!! Yay-let's get help!:) IT is insane!!! I freakin' don't even like IT-I don't even know why I talk to IT!!! I guess it's like how that old saying goes-keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer...but now IT'S too damn close for comfort...YUCK!!!

2007-09-12T17:02:00.000-04:00

I am sooo po'd right now!!! I guess retarded Kathy Griffin ran her mouth a little too much at the taping of the Emmy's, so much so that they actually had to cut out much of what she said. And knowing how much of an attention whore she always is, it didn't really come as much of a surprise to me what she said. I guess that when she went up to except her award, she said, "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now." What a ho!!! Who the hell does she think she is!? You know, instead of having her freakin' head stuck in her ass all of the time and not thinking about how heartless and stupid people think she is, she needs to stick something in that freakin" mouth and SHUT THE HELL UP! Yeah, how 'bout that? Instead of sticking that dumb award on a shelf and idolizing it, she could definitely stick it in her huge, monster mouth! I mean, who the hell does she think even gave her the chance to receive that dumb piece of whatever metal it is? She sure didn't do it by herself-SHE ISN'T EVEN FUNNY FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!! No, the God who gave her breath, enough freakin' breath to run her mouth like she does, gave it to her. And, the least she could possibly do is freakin' thank him for it-I HOPE THE DAMN EMMY GNOME STEALS IT FROM HER AND EATS IT FOR BREAKFAST!!! Enough...hell, i need an emmy for the best beotchfest. I can see t now..."The first person I want to thank is Jesus, for granting me with this short fuse. I want to thank my parents for raising me right. Oh, and I wanna thank Jerry Seinfeld for hating Kathy Griffin so much(atleast on his show, but he probably hates her in real life too)..." Thank you for making my day pagan, agnostic, demonic assholes!!!

2007-09-10T18:52:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I have my bad days as far as my looks are concerned, but according to one of my good friends, Cassi, and my mom, I look like this girl. Her names Laura Ramsey(from She's the Man). They're kidding right? Who knows-they say everyone has their twin. EERIE!!!

2007-09-10T17:53:00.000-04:00

I am sooo inspired right now...I'm reading a really great book by Teri Hatcher called Burnt Toast. Not only does it have an amazing title, but it is,well...kind of my love right now. It's kind of cool reading it, and realizing that she's alot like me-I can relate, and it's always nice to have someone that you can relate to. She's body conscious, she has a hard time with relationships, and she doesn't trust people very well. But, it's great...while she's going on and on about how terrible she feels about herself and how she feels guilty about treating herself well, she also elaborates on her transformation and inspires the reader to want to change. And, actually let's them know that they can, because change isn't ALWAYS ugly. And, what do you know! I've actually been trying to find SOME motivation to help me change into a better person, a better me. This may be it. Maybe-the Bible should be, but I haven't read it in a long time. Jesus must be really mad at me right now, but he knows that he's always my inspiration. I just can't get rid of that burning sensation that must be hell waiting for me! But, anyway, it takes a while sometimes to change, especially if you want to change for the better-and I HATE that! I want to stop cursing(which I surprisingly don't cus that much this year!), get fit, and actually get on a Bible reading schedule by tomorrow, dangit!!! Arggghhh! Bleeding hearts of the world unite! Anyway, wanting to be better can be torture, ya know?

2007-09-09T07:44:00.000-04:00

Eh...it's seven o'clock in the morning, and I could hardly even keep my eyes open last night. My mom and I were watching a Paul Newman flick and I practically fell over! Anyway...I don't really know what to write about this morning, but because I want to get in the habit of writing on this EVERY SINGLE DAY, I'm going to write about something. Senior pictures, since that's what I'm really pumped up about right now. Yep, I've been planning them since early last year. See, what I've been doing is actually quite ingenious. So that I won't look like an uber retard who doesn't know what she's doing, I've been looking through every magazine possible and tearing out poses that I like and pasting them in what I call my "look book." So HOPEFULLY, my pictures shouldn't look like anyone else's, which is what I'm definitely aiming for. I suppose that everyone's going to be posing next to their cars, or sitting chin on hand, or just sitting...and smiling. :) See, I'm not doing any of that! I mean, pretty much ever since I've been in school my school pictures have sucked, but now since it's my senior year, and I can pretty much do them however I want to I'm going all out with them. In other words,they better look AMAZING!!! I think that my grandma's going to do my pictures now... they'll look great. She can apparently do amazing things with pictures on her computer...but, I don't want them to be "fixed" too much. That's exactly why I'm not going somewhere where they airbrush your pictures. I've seen those pictures before and they look as if they're glowing! They're that fake looking! I want my senior pictures to showcase who I am, and I'm by no means perfect. But, i guess everyone else can try, you know? Anyway, I'm wanting to give off a vintage, glamorous, Hollywood vibe with my senior pictures. I'm even gonna do a couple of poses like Audrey Hepburn! That I'm excited about-my grandma's on the look out for some long, black gloves. Man, I just hate the wait! I AM IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION!!!

2007-09-08T09:03:00.000-04:00

Soooo...I got a little something in the mail yesterday. It was a card from IUS saying thank you for applying and that I should be expecting to get my letter within the next two weeks!!! I'm so excited right now!!! :) It was kind of funny though, because the day before, IUS actually called my house and told my mom that I forgot to specify when exactly I was going to start. And, that she just needed to know before she sent out my letter. AND, THEN THE CARD!!! OH THE SUSPENCE!!! Anyway, I'm uber excited...my damn intern nametag is practically ruined. For some stupid reason I had nail polish in my purse, and somehow it broke. Argghhh! Luckily, it didn't ruin anything else. But, my nametag?! Oh well, I'm gonna talk to my intern teacher about switching. I think I wanna teach-correction: I know I wanna teach. I'm just not sure about what grade...I'd like to teach either tiny tots or 11th grade. Either way, I'd be a totally fun teacher! I'm sick and tired of rigid teachers who have retarded deadlines and tell you what exactly what you have to do. I wanna teach english-they can write whatever the heck they want to! Geez! Anyway, I'll reform the whole thing, man.

2007-09-07T05:52:00.000-04:00

Today, my brother is one year and one day old! Wait a minute...how exactly am I supposed to say that? Anyway, my grandma came over last night and took tons of pictures of him-they're sooo cute. Here are just a few! The last one is my favorite! Enjoy! Oh, and by the way, I got the results back from my TB test-I don't have TB!!!

2007-09-06T05:58:00.000-04:00

This Friday, i get placed into my department at the hospital. I think that's where I'll encounter things that will make me hate nursing and my intern FOR GOOD. I seriously hate my intern!!! It's boring...and I think I should have decided to do the teaching internship THIS semester, and never had done what I'm doing now. I think I just know that nursing is not what I want to do! And, I mean, that's what intern is for right? Its an opportunity for someone like me to try something out, only to find that I hate it. Geez! I think I hate alot of things... Anyway, it's my baby brother's B-day today. One year old! He's so cute. Maybe I'll get a picture of him eating cake for the first time...and post it on here! Only here people! Happy Birthday to Josh!

2007-09-05T11:33:00.000-04:00

Sooo...I turned in my IUS application yesterday! Yep-i'm definitely college bound now. I just hope they accept me...that would suck because IUS is pretty much the only college I have in mind. I just want to make something of my life. What if I were to have kids(I'm just speculating-I'm not planning to ever have kids!)? I don't want them to hate me because I didn't go to college and I'm working at the local Micky-D's!!! I don't even like Micky-D's! Grease bucket it is. Anyway, i'm actually visiting IUS in about 2 weeks. I hope that I like it. My best friend Hannah is going there now, and she loves it! So I probably won't have any beef with it cuz she's cool. I love you Basgorn!!! Pardon my elvish.

2007-09-04T14:51:00.000-04:00

I got my shots today! Really-the exclamation point doesn't mean that it was exciting. Three shots! TB, Hepatitis, and tetanus. I hated the TB because I had blood oozing out of my arm for like half an hour...gross! And, I think my left arm may be in bad shape, at least worse than my right arm, because when I got the one shot it felt like it was going to freakin' explode! But, yeah-not a great day. I started my intern over at the hospital. It was boring and I had to watch a retarded video about personal care, or whatever, and had to answer questions about it. Tonight I have to read through a packet of papers about hospital stuff. Homework already-sheesh! Oh and get this...I can't wear my beloved flats over there. Instead I have to wear stupid tennis shoes, which I HATE tennis shoes. But, I am going to get an uber cool nametag! Exciting! But yeah...the power went out at school today. It was so cool! Actually, it was while I was doing my intern over at the hospital when the lights and everything went out. And, right when I was beginning to watch another retarded video. No such luck, though, because I have to finish watching it tomorrow. Argghhh! But, anyway,my intern mentor sent me back to school and guess what-the lights were off there too. Complete darkness-the toilets didn't even work(the type that flush on there own)! Everyone at school was getting ready to go home early, but then...let there be light. The damn lights came back on, so I pretty much got my hopes up. So life sucked today. Blood leaked from my limb, I didn't get to go home early, and my happy feet aren't gonna be so happy anymore! But, I'm still gonna have my nametag. :)

2007-09-01T09:34:00.001-04:00

I need a freakin' job ASAP! I'm just sick and tired of being a freakin' bum, ya know? Maybe its my fault...I've only put like three applications in. I need to be more enthusiastic about this! I mean, shouldn't money be enough motivation? Yeah, I forgot who I'm talking about-*Queen of the Lazy*. Anyway, I'm sick of hos! I know it sounds random, but I'm reading that Marilyn Monroe book and she basically slept her way to the top. So basically, according to that book anyway, if anything needs to get done just sleep with a but load of people and hope you won't contract herpes. Then you'll get anything you want! And all because you have no morals...life is so unfair, though. Meaning: if your a nice person who doesn't do what everyone else wants just because you want to be you=people treat you like crap, but if your a loser poseur who pleases everyone and acts like something other than what you truly are=people love you! Am I in that place between the black and white called the Twilight Zone? GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! Hello-the hos are obviously on attack. I don't care anymore. You know, about what people think or what people are wearing or ANYTHING!!! Its crazy, but the closer I get to graduating and the closer I get to getting out of this hell-hole of a town, I could care less about anybody...I wanna go to college already and get friends and meet people who are actually mature and fun. People who are well aware of what is going on in this world and actually CARE! People who don't use others and treat you like crap for no freakin' reason! College people! Just my luck, I'm probably just going from the fire into the frying pan...a big freakin' skillet is waiting for me...HELP! It's already good riddance to high school...

2007-08-31T10:29:00.000-04:00

I start my intern Tuesday. FINALLY! It sucks though, because I have to get a retarded hepatitis shot and TB test done before I can actually go intern at the hospital. But, the stupid health department only does shots on Tuesday, THE FIRST DAY OF MY INTERN! Which means, that I have to get up early to go get my shots and then I still have to go to school...major suckage! Anyway, that's not the end of it. I'm a little nervous...OK, alot...about doing the intern. I guess I just think I'll mess up or something. Plus, I'm worried that I'm not a people person, which is exactly what a future nurse needs to be! I need to work on that...people just freak me out. Don't even get me started on beginning college pretty soon-I'M FREAKING OUT! I'm not mature, I'm lacking confidence, and...heck I don't know. Time goes by too fast. Argghhh! Kill me now! Anyway, enough of being homicidal. I guess I could put myself in someone elses shoes-like a nurses shoes and be in the moment while I'm over there(which is only 49 minutes 4 days a week). I could be myself...only nursey. I need HELP! No, what I need is confidence. Gosh! There is soooo much that I need. What to do, what to do...

2007-08-29T17:58:00.000-04:00

I'm pretty excited! I found an amazing site showing me how I can create awesome pieces just out of a HUGE T-shirt. It's pretty cool, only I'm not gonna tell ya the link because I'm afraid that some uber retard is gonna "steal" the designs...I'd hate to go to school and see that someone's wearing what I found first. I hate that! Argghhhh! Anyway, I'm gonna have fun with scissors, I'm gonna have fun with scissors...

2007-08-29T10:27:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel like your alone, even when your in a room full of people? I did today...some people can be really mean, ya know? Anyway, on a much happier note, Dancing with the Stars is coming back! Yippeeee!!! I love that show. I've always wished that I could dance like the people on there. Little secret: sometimes, I imagine that I'm on that stage...yep, I have happy feet. :) But yeah, I'm alot happier right now that that shows back because we kind of don't have a satellite right now...we've been watching old-school flicks(LOVE!) and court shows. Somehow it's cool, though. But, I want satellite...wahhhhh! Right now, I'm missing The Soup, Bad Girls Club, Girls Next Door, Lifetime movies, anything on Food Network...the list goes on. Argghhhh! In a few weeks Project Runway starts- I cannot miss that! My mom loves that show too...I think we'll have satellite by then. I hope so, anyway! Did any of you hear about Owen Wilson trying to commit suicide? Insane and quite unexpected from a funny guy such as himself. But, I have heard that funny people(I should say comedians) usually are really depressed and that that's how they cope-making people laugh. I have to say I do that alot...when I'm nervous, depressed, so on...I'm at my funniest. Ha, Ha! It actually makes me feel most comfortable. Anyway, clowns are like that. Clowns freak me out...all that paint...Ahhh!!! Anyway, I can't wait until Friday. That's when I can finally take a break from the hell hole I call school. I'm just sick of people right now... I watched the Sound of Music last night. Maybe the music that's stuck in my head will block out everyone's voices. On Friday, the school will hear me singing "So long, farewell, Wiedersehen, good night...I hate to go and leave this pretty sight..." But, it's not so pretty.

2007-08-28T16:57:00.000-04:00

I started this school year out thinking that it was gonna be pure suckage, but you know what? I'm thinking that I was just nervous...or something. I'm now into my third week of my senior year, and I've hardly even had any homework. Yippeeee!!! I mean, I have had homework, but I finish pretty much all of it in school. Oh JOY! Anyway, I'm pretty not-so-lazy this year...or atleast not as lazy as I have been all of the other years. I just hope that I'm not jinxing anything here. Please God!-let this year be a breeze! Anyway, I'm reading a really interesting book right now. Goddess. No-it's not about me...although you are welcome to serve me. It's about Marilyn Monroe. Good read so far, despite the large print. I don't know what it is about large print books, but they make me feel like I'm a second grader! My mom says I'm crazy. She's right, I should just enjoy, ya know? But anyway, it's good-it goes right into detail about EVERYTHING! Yes-the sex, the infidelity, the fantasies, her supposed psychoses, and more sex. Insane! Honestly, and no offense to my dear friend Heather(she loves Norma Jean)but I can't believe that so many people look up to her! According to Goddess, which is an extremely well-researched book, she fabricated most of the stuff that happened to her-just to get attention! That includes molestation, sex at 8 years old, and having a baby that was only taken away! Even more insane! But, she is a compelling person. I honestly kind of feel sorry for her because she obviously felt that she had to make that stuff up for some reason. And, it's not her fault that men are soooo gullible! But why...i guess the book will answer those questions. But anyway, you've gotta hand it to her. Even if she was coniving and deceptive, she knew exactly how to get EVERYTHING she wanted. Hmmm....I wonder what I'll have to do to get my mom to make some of her delicious no-bake cookies? I'd clean the house twice for those things! I am seriously a real life cookie monster!

2007-08-28T11:04:00.000-04:00

This cold is just getting worse! Maybe my heads about to explode...just free brains for the stupid one who gave me this cold in the first place! Who am I kidding? It's probably just my retarded allergies. Summer hates me...

2007-08-27T11:01:00.001-04:00

I was on ABC Arcade checking out some funny pictures. Here are just a few! Enjoy!

*Angry Clouds*

If your having a bad day, just know that the clouds are on your side!

*Mini Bush*

I promise you that I am a Republican, but this is cool just because it's associated with Austin Powers!

*Ninja Kittens*

I still like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles better!

2007-08-27T10:27:00.000-04:00

Why do there have to be colds in the summer? Why do they suck way worse than winter colds? Arghhh! My nose is totally raw right now. I think it's gonna fall off. Anyway, it happened yesterday. For the past two weeks, my nose has been running practically off of my face, so, you know, I've been using alot of tissue paper. I've rubbed my nose so much that it actually bled yesterday. Which, to some, that may be nothing...but before yesterday I had like a 4 year no-nose bleeding streak. Really, it's nothing-I just can't believe I went that long without a nose bleed. Is that bad? I mean, when my younger brother was much younger, his nose used to bleed nearly everyday-and I swear, I never punched him, so it wasn't my fault. Crazy! Anyway, I better get over this retarded cold fast, because it's freakn' killing me here! Why is it that when I'm dying, no one is around? Anyway, I'm stuck in intern right now. Literally stuck-I have no where to go just because I'm interning at the hospital, or I'm supposed to anyway. Why does the hospital have to be SO slow? See, nearly everyone else(I'm stuck in here with two others-eh, they're boys, boys=cooties) is at their little intern places right now, while my stupid intern place doesn't have me placed yet. How hard is it to find a nurse to stick me with?! It's not like I had any restrictions as to who I could be placed with! Oh yeah, ummm...I wanna intern at the hospital, but I don't wanna be placed with anybody who helps people, wears scrubs, went to college, or even works there. I mean, come on! I am so impatient. I need help. I wonder if they have an Impatience Anonymous. I'd go if there was. This may sound crazy, but I've always wanted to go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting-just so that I can say "Hi! My name is Heather and I am an alcoholic." I wouldn't even have to really be an alcoholic. It would just be cool to say that. Anyway, I freakin' forgot my lunch money. If they're having nachos or something, I'm gonna be so po'd! Maybe I could be a bully for a day and steal some money from a kid. Not cool. Bleeding hearts of the world unite! Dang it...I'm getting off of here.

2007-08-26T17:59:00.000-04:00

I was bored a while ago(I hate boredom), and sometimes when I get bored I get animated. And, this is what I created...my own little mini-me! Cute, huh? Visit www.meez.com to create your own!

2007-08-26T10:41:00.000-04:00

Did laundry today-not fun. It always reminds me of when Bill Clinton was in his last few days of office and there were clips of him watching his clothes wash through the little window on the washing machine. It's like...the end. But it isn't, besides I have tons of crap to do. Senior pictures for one. I've decided that I'm gonna let my mom take them for me. First of all, I'll feel more comfortable posing for someone who I know, not to mention gave birth to me. And, second of all, it'll be free! I love bargains. But yeah, anyway, it'll be easy as pie. All it'll take is our digital camera and some of that printer paper that's made of photograph material. And, our printer already has photograph, technological doo-dads built into it. Lucky! So yeah, I just don't want to go to a photography place where they'll airbrush the pictures so much that I'll look fake. I want the pictures to be ...me, if you know what I mean. Anyway, this world is pretty much a false reality anyway. I guess I'll get off of here and face it.

2007-08-25T16:22:00.000-04:00

Too lazy to put on make-up..so I'll just act glamorous!

My bubbie, Joshua Alexander. So cute!

2007-08-25T15:03:00.000-04:00

I need to send in my IUS application. I really don't think there's a deadline for their application, but I just wanna get all this waiting crap all done and over with. Geez! But, then I have to wait for another long while just to see if I've been accepted or not, which I think I have a 100% chance. But, still! What would be way cool is if when I get my letter of acceptance it has the word 'ACCEPTED' in big capital letters stamped across it, kinda like in the movies or whatever. Yep-I'd frame it. Anyway, I can't wait to go to college, but here in a few minutes I might be totally against it. I think I'm bipolar! But yeah, I'm pretty excited :), as you can tell from the cute smiley face. One of my coolest and best friends ever is going there(her first day is in, like, two days!) and I'm really excited and happy for her. Go Hannah, aka Basgorn! Means loaf of bread in elvish...yeah, we're both Lord of the Rings fanatics. Anyway, another one of my friends is going to Northwestern-yeah, i didn't forget you Heather! I'm happy for her too...I hope she doesn't forget me :( We've fought before, but it's actually made our friendship stronger. See...now I'm sad about graduating again! Crap...speaking of crap, i think i need to go-No! just kidding! We're reading Beowulf in my english class, and i guess Grendel crapped all over the place. Sweet read so far! Not to mention, it's evoked some GREAT conversations! Oh, the memories...anyway, I think I'm gonna cut up some shirts. I'm feeling not-so-lazy right now...I better not pass it up(it's very rare for me to want to do something that doesn't involve sitting at the computer or snacking). Much loves people.

2007-08-24T10:23:00.000-04:00

I am totally pumped right now and I don't even know why. I'm pretty confident as well-hey, maybe my theatre arts class is doing me some good! Right now, we're learning how to overcome stage fright, which is something that is the bane of my existence right now, and has been since...forever! I mean, I can't even walk into a store or talk to two, or three, or four people without having a panic attack! But, yeah...anyway, I'm pretty frustrated. Why? Well, I'm still on a freakin' rollercoaster, going from extremely confident to unsure of myself in an instant. Arghhh!!! But, maybe it's for my own good so that I won't get a big head(like alot of people I know) and think I'm better than everyone else. I don't want to be a walking candy apple! Geez! But, yeah, one of my friends, who i have always envisioned as confident, found it hard to talk to the new foreign exchange student today, who is Italian btw. I talked to him easily, which I am not always able to do. Weird and wild stuff! Who knows...maybe I'm just sick and tired of ...being sick and tired. And, speaking of which, I'm so freakin' hungry right now that I feel sick. I could probably throw up right now-I'm thinking lunch food...wait, no I'm not. Anyway, I do need to gain weight. I try, but when I do gain any weight from food, it goes straight to my stomach, and I look prego! Frustration level: elevated. I just need to tone up...get some muscle...get hot! Three cheers for sweet revenge-make reference to my tiny body now, people! Anyway, I do look almost anorexic...oh, well! Maybe I could just be happy! :) And, I'll be just that when I finally eat lunch. :)

Let's Get Personal

2007-08-22T11:07:00.000-04:00

First Name: Heather
Middle Name: Nicole
Last Name: something german
Nickname(s): Schmiddy, Roo, Schmid Dogg, Kate Moss
Age: 18
Gender: female
Date of Birth:4-08-89
Occupation: umm...is bum an occupation?
Hometown: no where special
Ethnicity: white
Height: 5'4"
Weight: 100 pounds
Body Type: Audrey Hepburn-ish skinny
Marital Status: in a kickass relationship :)
Sexual Orientation: straight as an arrow--->
Religion: Christian

Loves
Colour: yellow, the color of sunshine and black
Animal: hyena
Food: anything that makes my taste buds dance!
Number: 7
Place: my house
Setting: at the computer
Style: Hannah calls it the Schmyle
Music: anything that makes my ears happy
Climate: Why is it so hot?! Help! I think I'm melting!
Scent: Love Spell
Flavour: lipgloss
Emotion: schizophrenic :)

This or That
Chocolate or Vanilla?:chocolate, but I dont discriminate :)
Pepsi or Coke?: coke
Beef or Veggies?: dunno...I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian
Day or Night?: night
Clear Skies or Thunderstorms?: both-I love rainbows!
Kittens or Puppies?: catdog
Black & White or Colour?: black and white-perfect harmony!
Fingers or Toes?: toes are gross!
Showers or Baths?: depends on my mood
Busses or Taxi Cabs?: twinkies!
War or Peace?: depends on my mood

Do you support...
gay marriage?: hell no
war?: yes
abortion?: hell no
legalized marijuana?: only for cancer patients :)
religion in classrooms?: yes
divorce?: yes
beauty magazines?: yes-my fave is Cosmo Girl

Answer Each Scenario Truthfully
*Your phone rings. Who's voice are you hoping to hear when you answer?: Jesus
*Someone unattractive gives you their telephone number and asks for a ring: I throw it away!
*You wake up one morning as the only human on Earth: I raid all the stores man!
*You turn your television on. What channel appears on screen?: whatever I was watching before I turned it off-duh!
*You're about to call to end a relationship when the phone rings. Dead pet.: I hope that the insensitive bastard becomes the sensitive sweety I thought he was in the first place!
*Your plane crashes on an island. Who do you want to be stranded with?: someone who kows the elements
*You want to learn a new skill to impress your date. What do you choose?: mad dancing skills!
*You see your distant friend crying on their front porch.: I cry with her :(
*Your house catches on fire. What do you grab first?: I grab my face and then scream! :0
*You can only talk to one person for the rest of your life. Who is it?: Jesus!

What's the first word that comes to mind when I say...
Greed?: money
Jealousy?: chicks, man!
Hate?: love
Love?: happiness
Anger?: management
Beauty?: models
Grace?: ballerinas
Fragile?: Christmas Story
Innocence?: babies!
Sinister?: the Devil
Malevolent?: cancer
Curiousity?: kitties!

Who was the last person you...
called?: me best friend
hugged?: my mom
kissed?: my baby brother
messaged?: my blog community
drove with?: my mom
saw in person?: a friend
laughed with?: my mom
thought of?: who I'll end up marrying
wanted to be with?: my mom
touched?: my baby brother
were angry with?: myself

Finish the Sentence
I smile most...when I feel pretty
I love the taste of... cheesecake!
It makes me angry when... people underestimate me
I feel useful when... I help clean house
I feel silly when... I'm with my best friends
I want to... eat a doughnut!
I need to... dye my hair
I really don't like... my feet
I would die for... cheesecake...oh the irony!
I never want to... do drugs
I regret... alot of stuff
I'm thinking about...hey! That's what that voice is!

What do you like best about the opposite sex?
Hair Colour:dark
Eye Colour: doesn't matter to me :)
Height: kinda short, but I don't want a midget!
Weight: not to skinny, not to fat
Personality: sweet and funny
Style in Clothes: casual
Style in Music: whatever I listen to
Thick or Thin?: in between
Outgoing or Shy?: a little bit of both
High Maintenance or Easy to Please?: easy to please
Graceful or Clumsy?: clumsy-i don't want a fairy!
Singer or Dancer?: singer
Understanding or Sympathetic?:understanding
Bossy or Laid-Back?: a little bit of both
Party-go-Getter or Hopeless Romantic?: hopeless romantic
Wild and Crazy or Timid and Sincere? a little bit of both

Have you ever...
kissed a stranger?:no
swum with dolphins?: no
done a rock-climb?: yes
been somewhere exotic?: yes
wanted somebody you couldn't have?:yes
wanted somebody significantly older?: yes-Johnny Depp
wanted somebody significantly younger?: no
broken a promise?: yes
canceled an arranged date?:yes
walked on the beach?: yes
kissed in the rain?: no
found a sand dollar?: yes
wished on a star?: yes
wanted to die?: yes, unfortunately :(
missed somebody so bad it hurt?: yes
thought there were monsters under your bed?: I still do!
said "I love you" and meant it?: yes...I think!
wanted to say "I love you," but feared the possible results?:yes
had an inside joke that made you laugh at random times?: yes... ha ha!
doubted yourself?: yes
said something that made somebody cry?:yes
kept a secret?: yes
told a secret?: yes
donated to a charitable fund?: yes
punched a wall?: yes-I have anger issues
yelled at the opposite sex?: yes
cheated on a partner?: no
passed out?: almost
slept in a bed of the opposite sex?:yes
kissed the opposite sex?: yes
kissed the same sex?: no!
showered with anybody?: yes
thrown up?: yes
been arrested?:no
been chased by the cops?:yes!-on Grand Theft Auto!
toilet-papered a house?: no
ridden a horse?: no
ridden a camel?: no
fainted?: almost
cried hysterically?:yes-all of the time
seen a ghost?: yes-on Sci Fi!
wished you were somebody else?:yes

Blah Blah Blah!

2007-08-22T06:42:00.000-04:00

I hate my hair, which is pretty much why I got my hair cut yesterday. About 8 inches! Wow, my hair was long, but it was pretty much dead anyway-I had alot of split ends. Speaking of yesterday, I totally skipped out on school...what a great day! :) Just a nice break! The only thing though, is that I can only miss 3 more days this semester, otherwise...me flunky! Now, that would suck. But, I'm going back to school today, and that's whether anybody wants me there or not. Sometimes I wonder what's being said about me when I'm not at school...if secretly everyone hates me or something. It's all a conspiracy I tell you! Anyway, uhhhhh....I really cannot wait until this day is over...bleeding hearts of the world unite! Thank you Jim Carrey.

Fu-get About It!

2007-08-20T06:39:00.000-04:00

I am seriously at the point in my life where I don't really care about what people think anymore. I was putting on makeup this morning and it was really ticking me off-it gets old! I mean, I think I hate rituals and here I am putting on eyeshadow and all that crap EVERY SINGLE DAY just so that I can look presentable EVERY SINGLE DAY for those EVERY SINGLE DAY people!!! I think I'm lazy. I know I'm lazy. Hell, I don't know...I don't want to look ugly! But, i don't wear that much make-up anyway so I pretty much look the same, you know? Maybe I should just get some of that permanent make-up that them plastic surgery obsessed freaks love so dearly. But, then I'd be complaining about how it looked the same EVERY SINGLE DAY. No, maybe I should move to India and wear one of them sheets that those women wear. For the life of me, I can't remember what those sheets are called-I knew a couple years ago, but I've evidently slept since then. Arghhh! Anyway, I think i need more lip gloss...a little voice is saying "you hate rituals!"...shut up! BTW, I'm not schizo! :)

What to Do, What to Do...

2007-08-16T05:48:00.000-04:00

I am seriously having a mid-life crisis right now. I need a car-I can actually leave school early being a senior, but I can't because I have no transportation! Sure, my mom has a car, but she just has to make excuses right now. I told her that I could have a shortened schedule and she was like "Oh, I like that idea!" But, when I told her that I would need to be picked up, she was totally against it! What the heck?! Anyway, I'm luckily not the only one in this situation. My friend Kayla is in my study hall class and we were jokingly complaining about how at the beginning of the year there were 35 seniors in our class, but now there are only 3 because they all leave for home! But it's no freakin' joke! Arghhh!!! It's funny in a way, though...Kayla and me were actually thinking of getting one of them Little Tike cars, you know red with yellow top, and escaping from school that way...hmm, it's a thought and we'd be like the Flintstones. Cool, but not cool. If only life were easier! If only some lunatic, but awesome lunatic, would park his rad ride in my driveway and throw his keys at my feet and say "Here you go. Take it! Take it!" uhhhh...i guess i need to get ready for another great day at school(sense the sarcasm). Thank God for these morning computer rendevouze!

Why Can't I Always Get What I Want?!

2007-08-15T06:07:00.000-04:00

I am so po'd right now! I hate school! I know that school has only been in session now for two days, but it's just the idea that I'm almost out-I'm almost free, just one more year. The only thing is that I want it sooner...wahhh! I mean, midterm graduation would be a great way for me to get ready for college. But, I talked to the freakin' counselor yesterday and it turns out that the most common and acceptable reason for graduating earlier than everyone else is that you want to start college early. Forget that! Whether I graduate midterm or at the end of the school year, I definitely want a break after high school. Plus, I had no idea that I had to fill out some stupid application before a certain date, which it's way past that date now, and they have to have a retarded conference with my parents, which I'm actually not very worried about. My parents are all for it and the counselor did say that there was a possibility that I could graduate early. The only thing is that I'll have to go to alternative school once a week for my english 12 second semester. I'll be trapped with a bunch of dead heads! :0

But, will they even accept my reason? I mean, I do have a very pausible reason for doing so! First of all, I can't do two things at once. Right now, I can't find a job and I know that it would be hard for me to work during the school year because I want to focus only on school when I am in school. If I graduated early that would leave me 8 months to work and gain enough money for college-plus I wouldn't have to worry about upcoming finals or an english paper that's due. And second of all, I would really like to help my mom with my baby brother. My dad has been gone alot lately due to a new job and it will pretty much be that way for a while, so my mom needs all the help she can get!

Hell, who am I kidding? They won't listen to me obviously! I mean I'm 18 years old, so shouldn't I be able to make my own decisions? I'm just praying really, really hard right now that they will hear me out because I don't want to feel as if I've gotten all my hopes up.

Who knows? They'll probably disallow it just because they want my stupid lunch money.

My Poetry is Now My Trash

2007-08-10T08:25:00.000-04:00

I threw away my poetry book yesterday. I just hated it-I don't know why. It was probably because I usually wrote in it when I was bored and/or depressed and I hated looking through that stupid book and seeing how I felt eons ago. I mean, yeah, I'm a teenager and I get moody sometimes, but I really don't miss it-I hadn't even written in it in a really looooooong while. But, i do have some poetry left from english class last year. I don't know if it was because of our new student teacher or because I was just plain getting better at writing poetry, but my best poetry ever came out of that class. I wrote about cool stuff, like hippies and crap like that. I mean it did me some good. Now I want to be an 11th grade english teacher-go figure. But yeah, to make a long story short, my poetry is now garbage and I wanna spend my life teaching moody teenagers who I hope won't hate me. Eat your heart out Miss Strong!

Some May Laugh at a Gilded Butterfly

2007-08-07T07:43:00.000-04:00

School is starting pretty soon-5 days to be exact. Why do I feel nervous? It's not like I'm going to a new school! Heck i don't know..I do know that I have worked pretty hard this summer to change into a better person. Maybe that's why I feel like my stomach is doing flips! I still don't know what everybody will think of me, but why should I care!? It's not like I'm better than them or anything, but there are certain people who really do tick me off! It goes something like this. it was 9th grade. I was terribly unconfident and immature(now, I can be immmature minus the terrible!) and a few certain, supposed friends got the best of me. It seems like everything that I say is wrong-they just have to point out every mistake that I make. For example, I LOVE the movie Grease(i have some of the soundtrack on my playlist!) and one of my favorite songs on that movie is "There Are Worst Things I Could Do." Great song and I can actually relate, ya know? So anyway, a certain person and myself were singing it and I ACCIDENTALLY said late at night instead of every night-she gave me hell over it!!! And, you wanna know something? I knew that I made the mistake before she even freakin told me, I'm only human!!! I mean who made her God? Seriously, sometimes, they treated me so badly that I'd think that Lucifer raised his leg and out popped them!
But, I've changed! Phew! I have new friends who I love! I do feel ALOT better about myself. Point being, i don't need people like that anymore. Honestly, if I were still hanging out with them, I'd still be that gilded butterfly that only looked as if she had changed. I think that they were just pushing me to mold into whatever the hell they wanted way to soon. They weren't happy with me. :( But, now I can turn that frown upside down because they "laughed" at that gilded butterfly that I use to be, but now I've honestly changed. Now, who's laughing? Ha, Ha!!!!! And, I'm not what they wanted-I'm what I've wanted,myself. Me. Just a better me, if you know what I mean. Sure, there are still some "undiscovered" places within myself, but I'm getting there. Because through all of them stupid, dimunitive mistakes that they called me out on, there's one HUGE mistake that they made. They underestimated that tiny caterpillar that I used to be.

A Girl Who Thinks too Much

2007-08-06T11:33:00.000-04:00

I do think a lot. It's usually about stupid crap, too! But hey! When you don't have a life, there's nothing better to do. Duh! So, if your bored crapless, just sit down against the wall and think until your head hurts to the point to where you think it's gonna pop right off! Hey, that could be a cool motto, or something catchy for a commercial. Could you imagine Tylenol, or something like Cranium, using that in one of their ads?! "And right before your head pops like a balloon, pop a few pills! Think. Tylenol." See? I'm totally blogging about some ridiculous, off the wall crap right now! Oh well, it's fun! :) Anyway, i hope you guys LOVE my new blog! I know I do! I wish there was a way to make a little heart with the keyboard, kinda like when i make those little smiley faces. Anyway, please comment and tell me what you think about my new blog! :)